First things first. I participated in Allstate's "Kick for Charity" event this morning at Rentschler Field. Media members for UConn football were invited to attempt a 25-yard field goal. Allstate made a $500 donation to the charity of our choice for anyone who made the attempt, and $250 for those who missed. I'm proud to say I nailed my attempt. It would have been good from at least 60 yards. Uh, not really. Tony C's job is safe. My kick squeaked just inside the right upright. I donated the money to The Connecticut Hospice, and to be honest, I feel great about it. So thanks to Allstate for a great event.

On to the weekly picks. The good news: it can't get much worse. I picked only four of 11 games correctly, but managed to finish 6th of 15 entries last week. Props to Dougo for going 8-3 and winning the week. Poor Sammy was last with one correct pick. With that in mind, I vow to give a perfect record to anyone who goes oh-for-the-week from now on. Much like George Costanza, you'll have to pick the opposite of everything logic dictates. This new rule includes my own picks. And I just ordered lunch: chicken salad, on rye, untoasted...with a cup of tea.

Game 1: California (-15) over MARYLAND: Protesters at Cal, angry over the decision to clear 42 trees for new athletic facilities, had been living in said trees for the last 21 months until they finally came down earlier in the week. The four protesters were arrested upon descent, thankful to have a spacious holding cell to stretch out in for a while.

Game 2: Temple (+6) over BUFFALO: Not long ago, winning one game was a season's-worth of accomplishment for these programs. Now, they appear to be among the better teams in the MAC.

Game 3: BAYLOR (pick'em) over Washington State: Wazzu allowed 66 points to Cal last week, and rank 118th in scoring defense and 117th in total offense. Keep in mind there are only 119 Division I-A teams. And this week it's a pick'em on the road? Good to see Baylor's program getting respect from the odds makers.

Game 4: East Carolina (-13) over TULANE: Pirates open season by stunning Virginia Tech and West Virginia at home. ECU fans who rush the field to celebrate the monumental upset over WVU are greeted by police goons throwing punches. Welcome to the Top 25!

Game 5: Penn State (-28) over SYRACUSE: Orange paper bags with eye holes to be handed out to Syracuse fans entering the Carrier Dome.

Game 6: UCLA (+8) over BRIGHAM YOUNG (home): Third time in just over a year these schools meet on the gridiron. But it's the first time in Provo. ( Provo, Utah. Not Provo, Spain).

Game 7: Michigan (-2.5) over NOTRE DAME: Lou Holtz gets his own bronze statue at Notre Dame Stadium, to be dedicated Saturday. School officials proceed to hire the statue to replace Charlie Weis as Irish head coach. Players welcome the change.

Game 8: CONNECTICUT (-11) over Virginia: Cavaliers starting quarterback Peter Lalich says he never violated his probation, and is staying behind in Charlottesville this weekend because he doesn't want his legal troubles to be a distraction for his team. Um, too late, Peter. Thanks for nothing. This sounds a little fishy.

Game 9: SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (-11) over Ohio State: OK, so I watched "Boyz n the Hood" on cable for the 100th or so time yesterday. Questions I've never figured out: 1) Why would Ricky be considering joining the army when he had all but locked up a scholarship to play football at USC? Even if he didn't get a 700 on his SAT (which he wound up getting) he obviously could have played somewhere. 2) Why was Ricky taking a leisurely stroll down the middle of the street, rubbing a damn scratch-off ticket, when only seconds earlier he and Trey were running for their lives from the gang bangers in the car? No wonder he got smoked. What a dope. On a positive note, "Furious Stiles" is one of the top three movie names of all time and Ice Cube wears a Jheri curl with the best of them.

Game 10: Wisconsin (-2) over FRESNO STATE: Former Notre Dame-West Haven star John Moffitt (center) and Norwich Free Academy grad Matt Shaughnessy (defensive end) among the Badgers top players.

Game 11: Oregon (-8.5) over PURDUE: Oregon claims it has 400 different uniform combinations, when socks, shoes, helmets and pads are thrown in. The Ducks' custom-designed Nike jerseys are also 34 percent lighter in wet conditions than the average game jersey. Too bad they're still ugly as sin.

Last week's results

1. Dougo 8-3
2. Vinny 7-4
3. Kevin 5-6
Dan 5-6
Rich 5-6
6. Chip 4-7
Stretch 4-7
wil 4-7
uconn86 4-7
10. ian 3-8
caleb 3-8
12. pete 2-9
Den of stupidity 2-9
sean o 2-9
15. sammy 1-10

Overall points (2 weeks)
1. Dougo 14
2. Vinny from East Haven 13
3. Rich 12
4. huskies86 10
stretch 10
Dan O 10
Kevin 10
8. chip 9
9. ian 8
wil 8
11. caleb 7
12. Pete 6
Den of stupidity 6
14. JZ 5
sammy 5

Enter picks by clicking "comments" below.