Saturday, August 02, 2008

Typo. And a lesson learned at Target.

Got an email from UConn today letting me know there was a typo on the height and weight of Beau Brunelli on the rosters distributed yesterday. He's 6-2, 255. Apparently, there was an impostor posing as Beau who measured out at 5-9, 193. Not really, just a mix-up.
This story is non-football related, but I feel like it must be told. I went to Target today to pick up (what else?) diapers and baby butt wipes. Standing in line in front of me is a kid holding a couple of T-shirts. He was so proud of himself, as he told me and the cashier, that he was only 9 years old and buying his own clothes. I have no idea where his parents were, but he was going on and on, and was a riot. He was like McCaulay Caulkin in "Home Alone". Really cute kid. The cashier rang him up. The kid pulls all the money out of his wallet and hands it to her. She counts it, and winces. He was nine dollars short. "Oh, man," the kid said. "That's all the money I've got."

Unable to escape this kid's charm, I handed the cashier 10 bucks to cover his bill. She gave me the change, and the receipt. The kid inspects the bag, notices what happened and immediately asks me for the receipt. "Oh sure," I say with a smile. "Here you go, sir!"

He walked away (without thanking me for picking up his tab, by the way) and it dawned on me that he was a little quick to make sure he had the receipt. Odd, I think, but probably no big deal.
After paying for my stuff, I walk toward the exit and glance to my left to notice the little con-artist is in line at customer service returning the shirts! Nice little business, I think. This little punk pays 26 bucks on a 35 dollar bill, finds some schmuck (like me) to cover the rest, then makes a tidy profit on the doubt to invest on a bigger checkout and payoff the next time he's at Target.

Naturally, I had to do the right thing and teach him deceiving people like that is wrong, and he shouldn't do things like that. So I waited for him outside, jumped out from behind a pole and stole his wallet.

Well, that's what I wanted to do. Instead of causing a scene, I appreciated the fact that this kid had the cavones to pull off a scam like that and swallowed the nine dollar loss. The lesson? As Sly Stallone told Dearly Departing Dallas in the '80s prison flick "Lock Up", DTA. Don't Trust Anyone.

But know this. If had been 10 bucks, I would have swiped his wallet.

As Stallone learned the hard way in Lock Up: DTA, man. DTA.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should have called the kid out. Little kids who commit scams turn into big kids who do bigger crimes. The more they get away with, the more they'll try.

August 03, 2008 8:19 AM 
Blogger Chip Malafronte said...

I totally agree, and you're probably right. But I also didn't want to get shot or pulled out of my car and beaten by an angry mob, as is all the rage here in New Haven these days.

August 03, 2008 8:49 AM 

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